Have you ever been walking through a park with a girl on the first date, and thought about how amazing it would be to take her right then and there but then kept on walking?
Or, have you ever been out shopping with your girlfriend and thought about getting frisky in the dressing room but then did nothing?
And, what if I told you that it was easy to have public sex, without getting caught, as long as you handle your logistics?
Well, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.
Today I’m going to outline a process for having sex in public: how to have the fun, without any of the trouble (well, at least the bad kind). Let’s get to it…
For those of you who have done it out in public before, you know that public sex is some of the most exhilarating and satisfying sex you can possibly have. This is because:
- It’s a great change of pace for a stagnant relationship
- It’s thrilling, which biologically heightens your arousal
- It makes for a great story
- It can make your girl see you as unpredictable
- It can help you if you’re not the best lover yet
Before coming up with this title, I’ve asked many girlfriends, casual hook-ups, female friends and complete strangers about their opinions on public sex. And what I’ve found is that no matter their level of timidity, experience, conservativeness or religion: every girl admitted that she has either fantasized about sex in public, would like to try it, or has already done it.
It’s no secret that women love sex. But why do they seem to love the idea of public sex so? In having many of these conversations, a lot of the things that I heard were statements like:
- It would be scary
- It would be a secret that a guy and I could keep between the two of us
- I like the idea of avoiding getting caught
- It would be a welcome change of pace in my sex life
- It would be a new life experience
These statements pretty much cover the compendium of answers I’ve received over the years. Interestingly, the women aren’t particularly focused on the sex itself. Nor do these answers suggest that the sex itself would be any better than normal. But what they are focused on is the feeling associated with the sex. They are focused on:
- Experiencing something new,
- Building a bond with their lover,
- And, feeling the rush that comes with doing something slightly “dangerous.”
And understanding these factors will help you understand the process of public sex.
When I was in my last semester of college, a few of my friends and I decided that we wanted to sneak into the campus buildings and do things that could get us in serious trouble. These were things like:
- Bring a keg into the library (and drink it)
- Have sex in the art gallery or dance studio
- Play Beirut in a professor’s office
… and a bunch of other wonderful ideas that we threw out at the time. Now had we done each of these activities in past? Had we drank from a keg, or had sex, or played Beirut and/or other drinking games? Absolutely. But… we, like so many other people in this world, succumbed to the allure of that powerful wildcard ingredient in life: danger.
From a scientific standpoint, when a person is in a state of arousal, the body gives off massive amounts of adrenaline and dopamine. That’s what gives you that “rush” feeling when you’re really attracted to someone, and that’s why you feel so happily energized. Your body is rewarding you putting in the work to be in a position to have sex.public sex
Likewise – and interestingly enough – when you’re scared, your body gives off massive amounts of adrenaline and dopamine. The adrenaline kicks in to give you the energy to run or fight as necessary. And the dopamine rewards you for acting for your own self-preservation and running that one mile it took to get away from danger.
This means: your body can’t tell the difference between a state of fear and a state of arousal. This is the reason why people love scary movies. It’s the reason why people love roller coasters. It’s the reason why people can become addicted to scary activities. And it’s the reason why people feel strangely frisky after being scared.
So when you combine the “arousal” that you get from being scared, with the actual arousal of having sex, you get an overwhelmingly thrilling experience.
And that’s why women love the idea of having sex in public.
So if they love it… and you love it… let’s look at how to make it happen.
How To Have Public Sex
Just like any other kind of seduction, public sex logistics are key. You can have sex in public, but you can’t always have sex any old place you please.
But don’t worry, with proper planning, the world is your oyster.
I’ll split this process between a girl you’ve already taken to bed and a girl you’re yet to take to bed.
THE PREMEDITATED APPROACH TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND/LOVER IN PUBLIC: 1
Public sex with a lover you’ve already taken to bed or with your girlfriend can be really exciting and relatively low stress, because the two of you can be co-conspirators and plan in advance. To make it happen, you just have to project the right energy and use your excitement to assuage any of her potential fears/hesitations.
And in terms of logistics, it helps if you already have a good place in mind to do the deed.
The conversation with your lover/girlfriend can go like this;
You: “Hey, Cynthia, do you know what would be reallly fun?”
You: “I’m thinking… next time we go out…” [grab her and pull her in close] “we should have some fun in an adventurous place.” [sexy smile]
Her: “Ooohh… that’s an interesting idea.. But, what if we get caught??”
You: “Don’t worry about it. I know this great spot at the park. There are plenty of trees and people don’t really go there. Come on… I know you’ve always wanted to..” [manhandle kiss]
Once you put together your public sex plan, make sure to have all of the necessary equipment ready to go. That means if you’re going to the beach, make sure you bring a towel (don’t want any sand getting into places where the sun don’t shine) and condoms and whatever else you’ll need to make it happen. Nothing ruins the moment like a lack of preparedness.
Premeditated Approach of How Not to Get Caught With Lover/Girlfriend
In terms of getting caught, you should first and foremost understand that the punishments are almost never severe. The fear that most people experience from the idea of having public sex has much more do to with wanting to avoid social stigma, prevent damaging their social reputation, or from them just being victims of perceived social restrictions.
When you get caught having sex in a store? They throw you out. You get caught having sex in the park? They give you a scolding a tell you to get a room. You’ll rarely be in any serious danger for public sex. So, just arm yourself with this knowledge as you look to expand your sexual storybook.
But alas, this is about not getting caught. Even though there are usually no real consequences for getting caught, it does kind of ruin the mood when you do (but also makes a great story in its own funny way). So let me discuss not getting caught in the premeditated scenario. Read on…
Out of all of the scenarios of having public sex, the premeditated approach should present the least amount of trouble in terms of getting caught. This is because you really should do your best to scope out a spot beforehand.
Want to have sex on the beach? When is the slowest time? Where is the lowest concentration of people? You should take all of these factors into account as you make your foray into public fornication. Also, despite the fact you probably won’t get into any serious trouble, you should understand what the punishment for getting caught would be.
BEST PLACES TO HAVE PUBLIC SEX WITH A LOVER/GIRLFRIEND
Since there’s already a high level of comfort between a lover/girlfriend and you, you can pretty much have public sex anywhere where the chances of getting caught are low/people won’t really care. In order of least to most risky, these are places like:
- The beach
- A concert
- The park/amphitheater
- A movie theater
- A campus building (for the college kids out there)
- A bar/club
- An alley/quiet street
- A large department store
- An airplane/train (getting increasingly difficult with stricter rules/smaller bathrooms. But, gotta love the mile high club)
- Your workplace (need a bit of preplanning or extra vigilance)
- The public room of a house party (only low on the list because it’s somewhere between public/private)
And so anywhere where you find some semblance of privacy
THE SURPRISE APPROACH METHOD TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LOVER/GIRLFRIEND IN PUBLIC: 2
This is the riskier, but probably more enjoyable (for you and her), approach to public sex. No matter where you are, this approach requires you to be attentive to your surroundings. If you’re outside, you have to see what’s around you. If you’re inside, you have to see the room.
But if you see an opening to initiate some naughty fun in public, you have to overwhelm your girlfriend/lover with raw sexual energy. Read a short story below:
I was once at a department store doing boring clothes shopping with an ex-girlfriend. She was definitely the conservative religious type, but there was certainly a sexual animal lying beneath the surface that I got to experience when we weren’t in public. I felt like I needed to do something to spice up the afternoon. So I followed her into her dressing room. I was pretty casual for a minute or two, letting her strip down to try on new outfits.
Then I grabbed her, slammed her against the wall, and started making out with her. She protested for a few seconds, but I just upped the intensity and turned it into a much more memorable afternoon.
SURPRISE APPROACH : HOW NOT TO GET CAUGHT
When you’re having pre-planned public sex, you can usually go all in and pull out all of the stops to have a phenomenal time. However, the surprise approach is all about subtlety. That means that you have to be prepared to pull out and go back to normal at a moment’s notice in the case that things go sour.
Keep it subtle by:
- Keeping most of your clothes on and just sliding down any pants/sliding up any dresses or skirts
- Making sure that she stays quiet
- Making it a relative quickie
- Locking a door or placing your hand/body against it (if applicable)
- Keeping your eyes/ears out for any trouble
Taking these steps will greatly minimize your chances of getting caught, and will maximize your chances of having a great time.
PUBLIC SEX WITH A NEW GIRL
Public sex is definitely easier with a lover/girlfriend simply because she will be a girl who wants and expects to have sex with you. With a new girl however, this may or may not be the case… unless you follow the right steps.
Having public sex with a girl you have yet to sleep with is all about setting the right tone. What I mean by setting the right tone is that she must absolutely see you as a sexual man. You could have the best logistics; you be trying to initiate some public sex in the smoothest way possible… but, if she doesn’t see you as a sexual man… it ain’t gonna happen. Public sex with a new girl lies entirely in the set up: in everything that happens before you try to sleep with her.
So if you want to set the right tone, you have to make sure to do things like:
- Having elite eye contact
- Chase framing
- Maintaining a sexy vibe
- Touching her and using touch escalation
- Using bedroom eyes and a sexy voice
…and also you have to lead.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you absolutely must lead her. As I mentioned earlier, public sex is fun, but scary for a girl. So she’s not only looking for a guy she can have fun with, but a guy who will protect her when the chips are down. And the only way to give her confidence in that fact is to lead.
When you’re getting ready to have public sex with a new girl, you have to have confidence in the fact she’s about to have an unforgettable time. When you can be certain of that, you can lead her confidently to wherever you plan to escalate with her.
Also, it helps if you’re a skilled lover. If you can have public sex with her, and show off some of your skills, your abilities will prevent any sex regret on her part and will likely have her coming back for more.
Raw Sexual Energy
I mentioned raw sexual energy with the surprise escalation. But, it’s ten times more important with new girls. When you are out with a new girl, not only will her rational instincts be telling her not to have sex in some public location, they will also be telling her not to have sex with you at all.
A girl’s emotions and sexual drive are much stronger than her logic. Yet, the only way to get the emotional override is through projecting raw sexual energy yourself. This is because you’re the leader in the situation, and she’ll be following your cues.
Where to Escalate?
In terms of escalating with a new girl, these escalations tend to be the most creative and unique. Follow the same logic as the surprise escalation. But, remember that when you’re with a new girl, anywhere could be a potential sex spot. In terms of new girl sex, some of the most creative spots I’ve heard of from people I know are:
- A tractor
- The window of a jewelry shop
- A go-cart
- A haunted house
- Among many others that didn’t make the list.
New Girl: How to Not Get Caught
Sex with a new girl is definitely the most risky. This is because in most cases your brain just doesn’t care. It’s in a new place, with a new girl, and it’s sexually aroused. These situations are definitely the hardest to control.
The best policy is to follow the steps of vigilance that I outlined in surprise escalation.
However, at the end of the day, you kind of have to throw caution to the wind.
You don’t have very much time on this Earth, so why not make the most of it? Give yourself some experiences you’ll never forget.
PUBLIC SEX DOESN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SEX
When you’re out in public, of course having sex with your girl is ideal. However, there have been plenty of occasions where you just have to do something sexual with a girl in public (like fingering her at the dinner table). Sometimes it’s just not logistically logical to have sex in public.
So if you find yourself feeling frisky out in public but don’t have a good place to have sex, try to see if you can get creative and get sexual.
Now, I think Public sex can definitely be one of the most exciting experiences you and your girl will ever have. The fear, the excitement, the thrill, the bond… it’s all there. It’s a great way to lead off a relationship, or bring the spice back into one that’s been stagnating.
Bring the sexual energy
And of course…
Sex wisely (smiles)